Holiday Greetings

An unusual Christmas Eve this is for me. The Mister and I are comfortably sitting at home enjoying a rather quiet evening. 'Tis unusual , I must say.

I decided that I needed to change our Christmas routine. It has been hectic and fraught with anxiety as only this season can offer. So we decided to forego our 300 mile trek ( in 24 hours , and four stops)and make it a mellow Christmas this year. We actually casually walked out the door today to pick up a couple of forgotten things this afternoon.( Usually we would have been arriving at our first destination ). We were not running crazy and even I didn't notice the frantic shoppers in the market. The only downside to the change is that I won't see my son on Christmas Eve or Christmas day.

This is a first. We've always been lucky enough to be together for this holiday. So my heart stings a little. I miss his Christmas cheer. I miss his reading of a Cajun Christmas. I'll see him in a few days, and we'll celebrate then . But this evening, I feel a little empty hole in my heart.

The flip side of this change is that I'm feeling calmer than I EVER have felt at Christmas time. Aside from a mini meltdown round about week 2 of December madness, I've felt pretty well. And that says soooooo much ! So in the bigger picture, I guess that it was a decent decision . This WAS ,afterall, the reason I decided to make the change.

So from the quiet of my heart and home I wish you all some peace and happiness for Christmas. I hope that you find that the New Year brings you to a place of strength and wondrous new perspectives. Merry Christmas.

Cyth

Winter Solstice

The Solstice has arrived. And much as I am not thrilled with Winter, or should I say the duration of it, I have to admit that transitional times like solstices and equinoxes, the changing of day at midnight, the awareness of one breath to the next, captivate me. It's like being nowhere. You are neither here nor are you there. That split second of transitioning leaves me kind of empty.

It is not an empty that drives me to fill up the space ; there is no grasping , no fear, no loneliness
like in other kinds of empty. Rather it is simply a moment in which anything is possible. I feel no need to rush into the next breath, or the next moment, event or action. I know it will come. And if I have been aware enough of that transition , maybe when that moment arrives it will provide me with what my heart not only desires, but what it needs. But it does take mindfulness.

With busy days filled with family, friends, work and commitments , it is often easy to miss those small windows of transition, that time to focus on the here and now ( not what was ,nor what will be ) but right in between. With Christmas whirling around us ( whether we celebrate it or not, we can't help but get caught up in the frenzy ) it is so very easy to lose our focus, lose our way even. It is so easy for this to happen to me in all the hubbub. My moods swing with the shortened days, my mind scrambles to remember everyone on my shopping lists and time seems to vanish like a magician's hare.

But every once in a while I take a peek at what is quietly happening around me. And it holds me in awe , perhaps only for a few seconds, sometimes much longer. And so it was for me today. As the sun was setting , in a day that otherwise was quite cloudy, the sky just above out tree line turned a warm , mellow shade of peach. I could do nothing else but grab my camera and try to perserve that moment that arrested my attention and helped me refocus. Not very much later (as the sun seems to now dip from the sky very quickly ) I was again halted in my activity to view this beautiful crescent moon.

How lucky I have been today that I had the opportunity , no two opportunities, to stop and reflect. For those brief moments, when day was transitioning into night, I was gently bouyed between here and there........ a few moments when anything was possible.

I wish you a few moments , before or during or after, your holiday celebrations when you can pause , refocus, and expect that anything is possible for you.

Cyth